Before anyone reads this letter, I want them to put this song on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yOp3AC9_9c&sns=em
There is a possibility that no notion towards me will come from you ever again. We lived the fairy tale I dreamed of together. But even magical happenings are soon dispersed into thin air. When there is nothing to hold onto, I try and hold on even more, using every last shake of energy until there is nothing left of me but the weakness of feelings of the heart and thoughts of the mind.
I have grown restless with the nightmare of what we are now.
We are nothing at all. You have humiliated me, abandoned me, and you have nearly vanished altogether—some days. When night rolls in, I am caked in cold and darkness with the painful touch of your ghost nearby.
And I will never touch you again. When I let go of letting go, there will be nothing worth remembering. Only the few smiles traced back from days I spent with you, my old best friend. The one and only person who turned my tears into splashes of laughter and my fears into tiny bugs scattered on the ground.
To say that I am hurt—no.
Every part of me is disconnected and I’m falling apart from limb to limb.
To say that I am depressed—no.
The messages in my brain have been taken out of place, traveling in all different directions.
I’m not even sure of who I am or who I was. You are locked to my side, invisible. I sense your guilt and I know your shame. You are never coming back and if you did, I couldn’t take your hand in mine again and become the world’s greatest actress saying, “it’s okay,” because it’s not okay.
If I took your hand in mine once more, we would become the seasons of an unchanging cycle. We would never end, and we would never begin.
Now I must always and forevermore love you for who you were to me and not who you are now.
After a long day of being loved and scratching many lotto tickets. Thank you for a wonderful 18th birthday every one. #birthday (Taken with instagram)
Awesome blog. God Bless.
Oh thank you so much! God bless you too. <3